Step outside and feel the jingle
Santas mug you every night
You wander where no stores are open
Your Christmas list is oh so slight
You're short on cash; you don't got credit
Applied for it once and they turned you down
And after seven years of cash and carry
Your credit rating still shoots you down

Some say that charging is my middle name
I do it very easy, and I overspend just the same
You don't want to shop with me
So stay out of Wal-Mart; don't try
Stay out of Wal-Mart; you'll buy

In the mall your watch beeps eleven
And it takes the seven years away
Now you're talking with that lovely salesgirl
And just like that you can hear her say,
"Well, I know for sure your card has approval
For a Rolex watch and this pair of slacks."
I said, "There ain't no use in trying to stop me;
A big purchase like this will give me cash back."

Some say that charging is my middle name
I do it very easy, and I overspend just the same
You don't want to shop with me
So stay out of Wal-Mart; don't try
Stay out of Wal-Mart; you'll buy

A week to go and you're out of money
As your bank returns another check
You get in your car and you fight the traffic
And drive with your right foot in heck
Well, someone said, "Now ain't that funny?
Well, I saw that boy just the other night;
Went into this store and really went crazy
Buying up everything in sight."

Some say that charging is my middle name
I do it very easy, and I overspend just the same
You don't want to shop with me
So stay out of Wal-Mart; don't try
Stay out of Wal-Mart; you'll buy...you'll buy...you'll buy!